Self-sabotage could be defined as deciding you want something and then making sure it doesn’t happen. Have you ever found yourself close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment? Did you look back later and want to kick yourself for doing this? Most of us have.
Look back at the times you’ve sabotaged yourself or come up short. You probably try to justify the sabotaging behavior in your mind. But, ignore the reasons and just observe the behavior. What conclusion would a casual observer draw from your behavior?
Do you find yourself repeating behaviors that sabotage your success? Learn to notice the signs of self-sabotage. How and when do you do it? Be objective and recognize your patterns (keeping a journal can help you with this). Why did you do this? There are several possible explanations, ranging from a need to control the situation to feeling unworthy. But regardless of the cause, the solutions are similar.
The first step to the success you crave is being able to recognize the limiting beliefs that stand in the way of your success. Once you do, you can banish those beliefs in favor of more empowering ones.
Look for these self-sabotaging tactics in your life and replace them with more productive thoughts that support your success:
Settling for less than your best causes you to stop short of unleashing your fullest potential. Sometimes you settle for less because you’re afraid of encountering failure. Other times, you may settle simply because you lack awareness of your own strength.
Test your strength constantly by going out of your comfort zone. Face your fears, because more often than not, your fear is the only obstacle between you and ultimate success.
- Expecting too much from others. When you automatically expect help from others, or anticipate that others will bail you out of a tough situation, you’re expecting too much. You are responsible for yourself.
Even if your friends and family have helped you in the past, they may choose to let you fend for yourself this time around. Always be prepared to suffer the consequences of your actions and clean up your own mess. Choose a more sensible path that takes into account that you may journey to your destination alone.
- Feeling sorry for yourself. If your current situation causes you to feel like something is missing, change your circumstances. Instead of dwelling on what could have been and focusing on the unfortunate hand you’ve been dealt, seek to learn from every experience and focus on solutions, instead of problems.
Your success is your responsibility. Hold yourself accountable for your results and allow unfortunate situations to steer you toward success, instead of deterring you from achieving your dreams. By maintaining this mindset, even your worst trial will be far better than remaining on the sidelines of life.
- Lack of a second plan. If your initial plan gives less than desired results, your only chance at success is your ability to adapt. Everyone needs a Plan B. You may feel like a pessimist by planning for an unfortunate outcome, but this planning is actually proactive. It shows your mind that you’re serious about reaching your desired destination.
Ensure your financial security, mental health, and well-being by always planning for the worst while hoping for the best.
If you often find yourself doing any of these self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder your chances of success, decide that today is going to be a new day. The important thing is that you recognize the thought patterns and behaviors that limit you and head in a new direction that supports your success.
Replace self-sabotaging thinking with a productive, solution-oriented focus that tells your mind you deserve the success you seek. When you do, your success will come.